An ode to losing Sports Teams

By Kyle Mammen


It seems as though that all my life I’ve had a hard time liking sports

At times I fear I’ve caught that curse that turns many men into dorks

We who struggle to remember the difference between a field goal and a free throw

And fail to find the fascination of collecting sports cards as we grow

I refuse however to give in to this lifelong condemnation

And someday find that I can rise above my sports-less station

I know within me is the seed of a true sports total fanatic

I ski and bike, I am well fit and have some baseball stuff in my attic

Perhaps someday I will find a team to get behind and cheer

Whose players are strong and true, they compete without fear

I’ve tried to follow so many big and great teams in my few years

Without exception they left my heart as through ground between rusty gears

My first heartbreak came as a teenager two years in a row

The Utah Jazz were awesome with their Stockton to Malone

I would follow them from the first game, and discuss the highlights of the season

With friends who loved them as much as I and with very good reason

They had impressive skills and talent and won most games with few exceptions

We cheered each time they made a basket and screamed at interceptions

When they made it to the championship we locked up the telephone lines

And when Jordan and Pippin came to Park City we greeted them with picket signs

Despite how mighty are beloved Utah Jazz be, in the end they were no match

For Jordan and Pippin with Phil Jackson gained leads Malone could not catch

After two painful years the time finally came for me to move on with my life

I focused on college and work and to my joy I even found a wife

After a few years time we found our way to a suburb north of Dallas

And I’d hoped that the teams here would penetrate my heart which had grown callus

In the first year the Mavericks proved strong and I opened myself up to them

But after three wins, four losses in a row would be their season’s end

I thought perhaps I’d find myself born-again in sports spirit

For Dallas has a football team and this year I decided to cheer it

I found it hard to like them at first for I could not stand T.O.

Contempt and selfishness were the only skills that he would show

And Cowboys coach Bill Parsells was without a doubt a jerk

I let that go because I though his attitude might make his team work

I finally found myself able to cheer when Tony Romo made his mark

And victory after victory brought my cold sports heart out from the dark

Until last night, I had hoped by born-again process would take place

But now I am back to square one and the Cowboys have egg on their face

Dropping a ball in the very last seconds is no way to end a season

I find some consolation in all of this and it is for this reason:

For the first time in several years I actually got excited

And as sad as I may feel I think my heart has righted

For though the Cowboys may have a curse

The Mavericks just whooped the Spurs